The Silent Observer

I was 13 the first time I saw you. You and him were healthy and always moving around. At that age, I didn’t think much of it. But as I grew older and learned more about life, I noticed you more. You saw me through all my emotions—crying, angry, happy, and even studying late at night. My life played out like a movie from your balcony, and you watched me grow up.

Over time, I saw changes in you. Your partner got sick, and the beautiful flowers on your balcony started to disappear. Winter was longer than summer, and soon there were no more flowers. One day, I came home from school and heard from my mom that there would be no more flowers. That’s when I realized something had changed inside you.

Months passed, and you seemed different. Smoking didn’t seem to help with the boredom or sadness you felt. You were always coming in and out, hardly sleeping. I stayed up late studying and saw you outside crying and smoking. I wondered if I could make it on my own and if I needed love from someone.

I remember a night when you had a candle on, and I had mine on while studying for a test. We both watched the sunrise. You couldn’t sit still and kept walking in and out, as if time stood still for you. For me, time was flying by because I was almost done with high school. You focused only on the flowers left behind.

I missed your beautiful balcony full of flowers. Last summer (2021), I sat on my balcony and tried to draw yours while feeling many emotions. Your balcony was so calming to look at. You only smiled twice in six years. The first time was when I showed you a drawing I made on a big canvas for my birthday. I was on FaceTime with a friend, and I put my phone against the window to show them. You saw me and my drawing, and when I raised it to you, you smiled and nodded. That made me incredibly happy.

The second time you smiled was when I was sitting by the fire under my balcony. We made eye contact, and you smiled. I always hoped we could meet and I could hear your story, but that never happened. One night, I came home from work, took a nap, and when I woke up, I saw an ambulance. I will miss you, Miss Stranger.